mysteries and faith

In my backpack there are a couple of very useful mesh pockets. They’re designed for water bottles, but they also collect my spare change, biking gloves, hand sanitizer, and other odds and ends that get stuck there. This morning, fishing out some change for tacos, I found two chocolates.

I ate them.

But how did they get there? I didn’t put them there, I don’t think. Perhaps I should have thought harder about this before eating them; and in truth, I did think about sinister possibilities: disgruntled student putting rat poison tainted treats in my bag, one of my wives trying to drug me, someone trying to further whittle away what physical fitness I have remaining. I considered all these and more, but I ate them anyway.

Perhaps I’m just that dumb and, like my dog, will just eat anything that is in front of me. It’s very likely. Or maybe I don’t really consider enough the possible ill effects of something. I wouldn’t be the first human to suffer from such, nor the last. Maybe I can’t control myself and my most basic desires that emanate from the bottom of my brain, just above the most basic functionings of the upper spinal column, the kinds of things that make invertebrates and a few political pundits function. I could be just that basic. If you’ve seen me eating a bowl of Doritos, you’d nominate this as the cause of my poor judgement.

I’d like to think that I’m functioning on a faith that, overall, there’s more goodness out there than malevolence. I have been operating more and more all the time that, in spite of all the shitty things we are capable of doing, we generally have the best intentions. I believe that there are people out there who teach second grade because they love — not just like — children. I believe people want other people to be happy and prosperous. I believe there are people out there who would see my backpack in a classroom and would, instead of swiping it, put two chocolates inside. And operating on that belief, I ate my chocolates. They were delicious, a communion of sorts based on a faith in humanity.

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